he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
