I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
