Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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