Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
