They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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