help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
