Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
These tits shall not be calmed
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
