I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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