just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
