Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
