u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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