Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize