we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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