Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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