filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
