sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize