guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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