my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
