U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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