With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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