tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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