Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
