I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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