The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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