Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
