i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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