You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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