i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize