U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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