Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
and she was petting her beer can
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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