I got chris browned last night
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
