I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
