I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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