I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i believe in u and ur pee
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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