Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize