I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
two words...techno handjob
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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