Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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