So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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