Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
pop tarts are not kleenex
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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