My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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