she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
sex in a hospital.. check
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
