even my farts smell like vagina
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
