I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
