She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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