Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
