A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
