Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
