Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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