And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She's the barista slut.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
