Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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