I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
