Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
