I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
