I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
