he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
