What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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