I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
