That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
