Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize