We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Found your dick twin last night
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
