how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
