he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Randomize
