I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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