I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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