omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
