come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
In America we eat man semen.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
