I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
