my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
