Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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